We all have encountered people in our lives who are toxic. There are individuals who always seem to have a negative outlook on life, and are quick to criticize and judge others. They can be manipulative and abusive, and have a harmful impact on your mental health. Their negativity can be a trap that pulls you down and makes you feel helpless.
It can be hard to escape the grip of negativity if you’re surrounded by toxic people, as they can make you feel unhappy, anxious, and stressed. These people can come in many forms, such as friends, relatives, colleagues, and romantic partners.
Toxic Friendships
I’ve had a few toxic friends in my day, and after hanging out with them for awhile, I quickly realized that something was off. In most instances, it was some display of passive-aggressive behavior. When I got a new handbag, most of my friends said, “I love your new bag!” However, the negative friend in the group acted like she didn’t care and responded, “Oh, I didn’t notice.”
Another time I recall that I had done well at something. My friends were giving me high-fives and telling me, “Great job,” while the toxic friend stood by unhappily in silence. It’s hard to know why people behave that way, but needless to say, those friendships didn’t last long. While those are just a couple of little examples of what a toxic friend might do, it showed me how toxicity in a relationship feels.
If you are on the receiving end of negative behavior, it’s essential to learn the necessary steps to protect your mental health and happiness. Let’s explore the different ways to recognize and manage toxic behavior and negativity.
What are Toxic People?
Toxic people are those who have a negative impact on your life, either emotionally, spiritually, or physically. They are the ones who make you feel bad about yourself, who bring you down, and who make you feel like you’re not good enough.
You might encounter toxic people at work, in your social circle, or even in your family. They drain your energy, are annoying, and make it hard for you to maintain a positive outlook. A really toxic relationship can even make you feel stressed, anxious, and depressed.
Recognize the Signs of Toxicity
It’s essential to recognize the different types of negative people that may surround you. Here are some examples:
- The Criticizer: This person is always quick to criticize and judge you and others. He or she will never shy away from pointing out your flaws and weaknesses. Criticism is dangerous as it can damage your self-esteem and sense of importance, and cause you to resent them.
- The Energy Drainer: This person always seems to suck the energy out of the room. He or she is always negative and pessimistic, and may complain about everything. They always see the worst in people and situations. As a result, their presence can make you feel irritated and exhausted.
- The Manipulator: This person always tries to control you and others. He or she will use guilt, fear, or other tactics to get what they want. This type of person can be selfish and have a complete disregard for anyone’s feelings but their own. This can damage trust, cause anger, and take an emotional toll on the person being manipulated.
- The Drama Queen/King: This person thrives on drama and chaos. He or she is always creating unnecessary drama and causing conflict in their relationships. Drama queens or kings never think they are part of the problem, and always blame someone or something else. Their aim is to seek attention, and they avoid being open about how they feel or what they really want.
- The Envious: This person is jealous of your success and happiness. He or she may feel a sense of resentment that you have something they want. They will try to bring you down and make you feel guilty for your achievements. They may do this openly by refusing to celebrate your success, or find joy in your setbacks or failures.
How to Deal with Toxic People
Once you’ve identified the different types of toxic behavior, it’s important to take action to protect yourself. Here are some ways to deal with the negativity and preserve your mental health:
1. Set Boundaries
One of the most important things you can do when dealing with toxic people is to set boundaries. This means defining what you will and won’t tolerate from the person. For example, if a friend is constantly criticizing you, you can tell them that you won’t accept that behavior anymore. If a family member tries to push you into doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to say no.
Learning to say no is a key skill when dealing with toxic people. They often try to manipulate and control others. Learning to say no means being clear about your boundaries and not allowing others to push you around. Saying no can be difficult, but it’s essential for maintaining a healthy state of mind.
2. Communicate Effectively
Communicating effectively is another important way to deal with toxic people. It’s important to express your feelings and needs clearly and directly. This can be challenging, especially if you’re worried about the person’s reaction. Use “I” statements to express how you feel, such as “I feel hurt when you criticize me,” rather than “You always criticize me.”
3. Don’t Engage in Drama
Toxic people often thrive on drama and conflict. They may try to draw you into arguments or gossip about others. They like to stir up conflict and make you feel like you’re wrong. It’s important to avoid engaging in drama with toxic people, as it can make the situation worse. Arguments are emotionally draining, and they rarely lead to a positive outcome.
Instead of engaging in arguments, try to stay calm and rational. If the toxic person continues to argue, simply walk away.
4. Practice Self-Care
Dealing with negative people can be stressful and exhausting. That’s why it’s important for women over 50 to practice self-care. Self-care means taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. This can include getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, meditating, and doing things you enjoy.
When you’re taking care of yourself, you’re stronger and better equipped to deal with toxic people and negativity.
5. Seek Support
Having toxic people in your life can be challenging, so it’s important to seek support. This can include talking to a trusted friend, family member, or counselor. It can also entail joining a support group where people are dealing with similar issues. Having a support system can help you feel less alone and provide you with the resources you need to cope with negative people.
6. Focus on Your Goals
Toxic people can be distracting and draining. That’s why it’s important to focus on your goals. This means identifying what you want to achieve in life and working towards it. Block out the noise and don’t let yourself get derailed. When you’re focused on your goals, you’re less likely to get caught up in drama and negativity.
7. Let Go of Toxic Relationships
Sometimes, the best way to deal with toxic people is to let go of the relationship altogether. This can be difficult, especially if the person is a family member or long-time friend. However, you will want to seriously consider this if the relationship is causing you more harm than good.
If you’re in a romantic relationship with someone toxic, it’s very important to make them aware of how you feel about the way they are treating you. If they are willing, you can also try therapy or counseling. The person may have some deep-rooted issues from their past that are affecting your relationship now, so getting professional help can be very beneficial.
Although letting go of toxic relationships can be hard, it’s also liberating. It will allow you to move forward and regain a positive mindset. It will also provide you with the freedom to focus on relationships and experiences that are beneficial to your life and bring you happiness.
8. Practice Forgiveness
Forgiveness can be a powerful tool for dealing with negative people. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting, condoning, or excusing the person’s toxic behavior. Instead, it means letting go of anger and resentment and moving on with your life. Forgiveness can be challenging, but it can also provide you the gift of peace, which is priceless.
9. Practice Gratitude
Finally, practicing gratitude can be a powerful way to deal with toxic people. Gratitude means focusing on the positive things in your life and being thankful for them. This can include your health, your relationships, your job, and your hobbies. When you’re grateful, you’re less likely to get swept up in negativity and more likely to focus on the good things you have.
Dealing with toxic people in your life can be unpleasant and challenging, but it’s essential for maintaining your mental health and overall well-being. By setting boundaries, communicating effectively, avoiding drama, practicing self-care, and weeding out toxic relationships, you can protect yourself and preserve your happiness.
Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. You have the power to choose how you will react to negativity and create a happier, healthier life for yourself.
